I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
