she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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