i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize