just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
