I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
