So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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