U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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