is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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