i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
