He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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