I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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