Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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