last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
