I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Sober January is a disaster.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
