He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
