I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
