Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want to make a zoo with you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
