Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
