just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
