nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
