I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
