Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
