It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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