No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
