When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
