I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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