Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
