spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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