Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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