And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
