After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
