She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
