Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
