How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You need a sexual gate keeper
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
