So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
