He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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