I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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