Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just pee around me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
