We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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