Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
