Fuck appropriateness.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
