Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Randomize
