I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
