it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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