Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
