Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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