So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
