It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
