escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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