the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize