i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
