im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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