Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
