so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Randomize