it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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