just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
