I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize