Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
