I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
