I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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