I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize