the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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