i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
