you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize