Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
