P.S. I can't hear my feet
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
organizing the empties. That sober.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
