but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
