It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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