i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
