Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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