I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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