So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
In other news, I just burned my penis
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
