So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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