You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think I won the penis lottery.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
