My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
